Stop the Monkey Planet, I Want to Get Off

Have you seen the new Monkey Planet film?

The what?

Monkey Planet! You know the ones with the talking monkeys. That guy’s in this one, what’s his name, James Franco. It’s pretty good.

Monkey Planet!?

Yeah, you know the first one, it’s from the 60s, with the astronauts and they crash land on a planet with talking monkeys!

Are you ok?

Monkey Planet, it’s a classic, how do you not know it!

You’re talking nonsense, I’m leaving!

Monkey Planet!! Ah, putain, attend, en anglais c’est Planet of the Apes!

Monkey Planet. Beneath the Monkey Planet. Escape from the Monkey Planet. Conquest of the Monkey Planet. Battle for the Monkey Planet. Tim Burton’s ill-advised Monkey Planet remake. Rise of the Monkey Planet. Dawn of the Monkey Planet. Untitled Monkey Planet Sequel.

How many of these films would you like to see (Battle for the Monkey Planet sounds like it could be good fun to be honest)?

They might all sound like fun, but aren’t they lacking the grativas of the title Planet of the Apes? It’s a good thing that the film’s producers went with that title then. But that wasn’t always the case… Continue reading

Sorry Seems to be the Easiest Word

Yesterday evening I bought myself some Hammerite Kurust rust converter (we all need a treat on a Friday). When the sales assistant forgot to give me my €1 change I instinctively said Sorry, could I get my change please?

Why did I say sorry? What did I do to him? It took him a few moments to open the till, but apart from that I didn’t inconvenience him that much. English can be quite polite at times, but it does seem a little bizarre that our first instinct is to apologise  in a lot of situations. Continue reading

No Swearing

What the frak!?

He’s also Irish, which again, weirdly, a plus point, if you like swearing. He’s often on his show: Feckin’ dis and Feckin’ dat. Some Irish people say Feck off isn’t as bad as F*ck off, but I think that’s b*llsh*t.
Or bellsh*t.Alan Partridge

She fuppin’ would too, and so would I you fuppin backsterd!!

English is of course not without a healthy number of swearwords. Though I personally try to avoid using some of the worse ones, I do appreciate the power they have to emphasise a point when used appropriately.

Continue reading